USA Travel Newsletter – Edition 1

July 24, 2006

For all you fans I plan on posting all my past travel newsletters on our recent trip to the USA, all 4 editions in all their glory! Please comment and let me know what you think! Here’s the first edition below…

EDITION 1 – Sent May 2006
Aloha from hawaii! Well we finally touched down after a 9 hour flight! It was hell because they only served vb & tooheys new. I was like where’s the fosters? It was like going to a movie and asking the kid with zits at the candybar for popcorn and them telling you they only stock rice crackers. Unbelievable.

Anyway, a summary of the trip thus far… Wednesday night in sydney, andrea, dave and I met up with one of my mates phil in glebe and we hit up the oyster bar for the mundine fight! The bar was rockin big time and I dont remember much of that except for andrea in the cut scenes when Kostya Tszyu was talking and she’s going I love Kostya, he’s so cool, he’s so fine! Turns out we were lucky enough to be sitting next to him at sydney airport the next day before our flight. I asked for a group photo and we almost had to call an ambulance coz Andreas legs turned to jelly and she kinda melted all over him. (See attached photo!) Hopefully our luck continues when we reach LA and i can tick a few more star groupie photos off my list …J-lo, justin timberlake and salma hayek! …oh and the latest edition, that french girl in da vinci code who just knocked catherine zeta jones into 5th position!

We stayed at phil’s house in glebe on wednesday night. Phil left before us and his housemates locked us in the house! Phil wouldn’t answer his phone when we called to ask how to escape. We were scared coz his area of thehouse is a dungeon. Its got this steep stairwell that goes steeply down like in that scene in pulp fiction with the gimp. We thought we were being held prisoner and busted out the back door. But we still weren’t free, we had to climb the back fence which was like the great wall of china itself! We tried to make a hellicopter out of the clothesline and a lawnmower like macgyver would have done so we could fly up and over the fence. Unfortunately we ran out of petrol and had to rock climb the fence instead and then we rode off the sunset on our harleys.

The thursday night plane ride to hawaii was crazy. We sat near the back of the plane and the crew couldn’t get the emergency exit shut for like 15 minutes. I’m sitting there watching & listening to a number of calls back and forth between biggles the flight attendant and the captain buzz lightyear (note; I withdraw myself from any liability in relation to transcription errors!):
buzz; ‘would you shut the damn door!’
Biggles; ‘ its broken!’
Buzz; ‘stop whining!’
Biggles; ‘bah!’
Buzz (wanders up); ‘Have you got a toolbox?’
Biggles; (blank stare)
Buzz; everybody stay calm! Biggles get me a knife and fork!
Biggles; (comes back with a qantas cuttlery set)
Buzz then proceeds to stick a knife and fork in some metal cogs in the
door, locks it shut, goes and fires up the engine and we were on our way!
It was obvious to me that the captain went to boy scouts and earned his cuttlery badge, which is great …coz I can hardly swim to save myself! When I was in boy scouts, I had to throttle some kid and mug him for my 50 meter swimming badge. So naturally I didn’t want to get sucked out the emergency exit mid flight into the ocean and have to swim to hawaii battling sharks and blood sucking leeches! Especially considering I would have had to do this barehanded as my speargun got confiscated when I walked through the metal detector at sydney customs.

Thursday morning is when our holiday really started… we arrived at the hilton at 10am. It must be one of the most beautiful resorts on earth. Its got everything, shops, live music, restaurants, hula dancing and real tans.
You have to wear sunglasses so your retinas don’t burn out when the sunlight reflects off all the yuppies gold jewellery and diamonds! We thought we got the hotel for cheap in $AUD when we booked in australia with andreas credit card but it turns out it was $USD so was spewin at first! Now we’re here though, we reckon its worth it and we don’t wanna leave coz the next hotels going to be pretty much like a tin shed in kalgoorlie.

Now it’s Friday, we haven’t done much yet except for Hula dance lessons, which was a lot of fun. Some of the movements were the similar to what we do in Salsa! Now we’re going shopping and then we’ll spend the rest of the day at the beach, followed by a Hula performance at the resort tonight, gotta

love ya’ll



  1. What Is Going On Now

  2. Personally, I have been going to hawaii every year since my family bought a time share on maui. I love it. i dont understand how people cant just go once. Io fell in love with it!

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